shampoo for my real friends
real poo for my sham friends
how do i word “this author is a mega douche and is super full of himself because he has a phd and i accept none of his work as useful” in a more eloquent manner
why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve