nintendoggy:

i dont want the d. i want the a. i want to pass this class

goonsac:

[job interviewer voice] we found naked pictures of you during a quick google search for your name and we wish to inform you…… that your bod is slammin’ 10/10 you’re hired see you monday

ryaynross:

im ok i just want to die a lot

redgrieve:

fluttertree42:

why do people have quiet respectful funerals when i die i want my ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly into a coffin and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting “thanks for the memories” by fall out boy

jesus god almighty

(Source: cherrybam)

Happy thanksgiving from my father and the turkey carcass

Happy thanksgiving from my father and the turkey carcass

(Source: cocainesmile)

(Source: jakexp)

naeive:

like i want someone to be with and hold hands with and drive with and sleep with and be warm with in the winter but that whole love thing is terrifying i don’t wanna do that ever again i just wanna play with boy’s hearts and cry in their beds