randomness-is-epic:

circumcisions:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

that’s what i call talent

(Source: gay8)

A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

(Source: infraredscopes)

croutoncat:

i have hit rock bottom and its only tuesday

boromirs:

History of Middle-earth: 1/?

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 

(Source: peenslayer)

skyline-sunset-in-my-veins:

ahhh yes i found this year’s Christmas card

skyline-sunset-in-my-veins:

ahhh yes i found this year’s Christmas card

(Source: peewentz)

(Source: apriki)

albinoblackman:

when jesus is born I get presents

when jesus dies I get chocolate 

I love jesus

(Source: at-the-redline)